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Subject:Another Polish Giveaway!
Time:11:42 am
You know I can't get enough of entering these contests, even though I've never won anything (seriously, anything) in my whole life. 

Check it:
http://www.glitterobsession.com/2012/07/giveaway.html?showComment=1344623939157#c5258439484099623988
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Subject:I keep posting about polish
Time:07:36 pm
But since that's primarily all I'm using my LJ account for at the moment, I don't really feel so bad cluttering things up with this, especially when one of those things I'm cluttering this up with is a post about a giveaway for the entire China Glaze On Safari collection.

You can enter to win here:
http://www.kaylashevonne.com/2012/07/giveaway-entire-china-glaze-on-safari.html

Hop to it! There's polish hanging in the balance!
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Subject:So, I have an addiction
Time:11:49 pm
Current Mood:sleepysleepy
It's not a bad one, per se, but it's getting costly and a little out of hand. Even still, I continue feeding it because, as addictions in their infancy tend to do, it makes me happy. What is this addiction, you ask? Before I say it, let me preface this by saying that I am NOT a teenager, nor am I a lonely cat lady, nor do I "just need to get laid," as sometimes this addiction suggests to people. It doesn't say a whole lot about my character other than that I enjoy shiny, sparkly, pretty things, and, ok, maybe that I have some self-control, frivolous-spending issues, lol.

So, out with it, eh? 

Nail polish.

There, I said it. I am addicted to nail polish. Not in the freaky way that the girl from My Strange Addiction is; I don't drink the stuff, I just slather it all over my fingernails and stare lovingly and admiringly at the bottles of liquidy, pigmenty goodness.

What does this have to do with anything in my life? Well, there's an amazing blogger who's giving away a bottle of a long-coveted nail polish to her readers. If you go to Tara Loves Colors, you'll see that she has great swatches, as well as recipes for frankens and adorable nail art. I'm a little in love because she's talked about where to find frankening supplies, and I've been curious about it for a little while. If you're interested in entering, you can do so here, but please don't win... save that for me. Please? Pretty please? 

Lol. Evil. I'm kidding... you win, I win... we all win. (But, I mean... I really do want to win... )
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Subject:Maybe you just get one...
Time:01:24 am
 The thought has crossed my mind a lot over these last several years that maybe, in life, we really do just get the one big love. Not necessarily "the one" that everybody likes to talk about, but the one, minus the quotation marks. Which is not to say that we don't move on and fall in love again, but maybe for some of us, there's one person from our past that we love just a little bit more than we can love anybody else.

So if that's true, at what point do we stop trying to find someone who compares? Someone who comes even a little close to evoking the same kind of emotion and affection?

He wasn't perfect, god only knows, but I think maybe he was it for me, and I think I'm done. I spent the last year and a half "getting over it" - the last 2 1/2 years, really - and while I suppose I'm far enough beyond the worst of it to not ache every second of every day, I don't see much point in trying to find anyone else to fill the void he left behind. I've filled my days with activities, people, noise... I went back to school to regain control of my life and send it in a positive direction, and it's worked, and I've just graduated, and I'm happy. But I just don't see love happening again, and at this point, I mostly don't care. 2 1/2 years has been beyond a reasonable amount of time for me to completely get back on my feet, and I don't see much point in looking for someone to sweep me off them anymore. 

I had my chance, and I didn't take it, and maybe that one shot was all I was supposed to ever get. I could have gotten married to a man who I clearly would have loved through anything, and had a baby, and moved to an island in the tropics, and I didn't, and I have to be ok with that. 

And I'm reading this back, and seeing myself say that I don't care, and that I have to be ok with things, and it's true, every day, I AM ok with things, but if I'm being completely honest, once in a while, when I sit down and truly think about them, my heart still breaks just a little bit. Or a lotta bit.

It's been 2 1/2 years. I don't want anyone else. I don't want anyone, period. But I would like to know when just the thought of the one I had will stop making me sad over the things I didn't get.
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Subject:Once Upon a Time
Time:10:42 pm
Current Mood:numbnumb
Once upon a time, a girl loved a boy.



And then it all went to shit.








I don't much know what to even say right now.  I tried to cry, and I did, maybe a little, but I'm mostly numb and walking through my little world in a bit of a daze.  It was so close to finally being real, but alas, I am an asshole and he is an asshole, and together, our assholery makes for a miserable time, so that's that.  Ahhhh... numb, numb, numb.  All I can do is blankly stare.  I wonder what kind of internal pandemonium will occur when it actually sinks in.
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Subject:These magnets are so cool
Time:07:27 pm
Current Mood:gratefulgrateful
You wouldn't think so much fun could be had with printable magnetic sheets, but you'd be wrong!


Go look!


Thanks www.custom-magnets.com for the

paper magnet.

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Subject:Vitabase can help you keep your insides clean
Time:02:42 pm
And we all know that that's what counts because dirty insides are, well, dirty!

Colon Cleansing stuff by Vitabase!
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Subject:Gosh, it's been forever all over again
Time:02:40 pm
Can you have more than one forever? I guess not, but it sure feels like it.

I sort of miss my LiveJournal. It was a friend and a confidant, somewhere to vent when I had things to say, and I didn't want to say them to anyone else.

I think I'll be back again soon. Everyone's discovered my myspace blog, and I miss the anonymity of posting somewhere nobody that knows me knows about.
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Subject:Livejournal, Livejournal....you have been neglected yet again
Time:03:06 pm
Current Mood:contentcontent
Lots has changed, but I guess since I've got myspace to actively blog on, Livejournal hasn't been more than a passing thought.

For anyone who still comes by, I'm no longer with the boyfriend I was so distressed over. Actually, he dumped me, but in a pretty civil way. I think he thought I'd want to get back together (again) after I'd had some time apart, and he wanted to be the one to break up with ME so that it'd be on his terms, but it didn't really work out that way. By the time he did it, I was already done with the relationship, and was just trying to find a way out. He made it easy on me and while I still love him, I don't, in any way, want to be his girlfriend again. Too much drama. Too much uncertainty. And I just don't miss feeling like shit because he wasn't interested enough to make me a regular part of his life.

I've found someone else. Someone who, by all accounts, is less available than my ex ever was, but only in the physical sense, seeing as how he lives 4000 miles from me. On one hand, I know how silly it is for me to be involved in whatever sort of pseudo-relationship this is, and on the other, I haven't ever met anybody who understands me, and who I understand in quite this way. We make a lot of sense together, and even though there are aspects of our personalities that are inherently different, underneath it all, we are the same, and he just feels so damn good to me.

The week he spent here for our first meeting wasn't nearly long enough. Even after the first night, we were dreading his having to go home. And this was after only having been in each other's presence for a couple hours. I guess the closeness you can develop with someone after talking to them 5 hours a night for a year is really something. I didn't think I'd ever do the internet relationship thing, or the long-distance thing, or the falling in love with someone impossible thing (oh wait-that's a lie...isn't that always the way it goes?), yet here I am, completely retarded for a guy who's completely retarded for me who lives in god forsaken Puerto Rico. It's a funny feeling when you just know something is meant to be. All the corniness and all the disapproving looks people give you don't matter. You know that people think they know that you're delusional, and you know you're not. /shrug He's mine. I'm his. We don't know why. We just are. And I'm finally happy.
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Subject:HOLY moley.
Time:03:25 am
That's probably the longest journal entry I've ever posted. Granted, it's all copied and pasted, so it likely doesn't count, but the fact still remains that it's looong.
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[icon] If it makes you happy...
View:Recent Entries.
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