Lots has changed, but I guess since I've got myspace to actively blog on, Livejournal hasn't been more than a passing thought.
For anyone who still comes by, I'm no longer with the boyfriend I was so distressed over. Actually, he dumped me, but in a pretty civil way. I think he thought I'd want to get back together (again) after I'd had some time apart, and he wanted to be the one to break up with ME so that it'd be on his terms, but it didn't really work out that way. By the time he did it, I was already done with the relationship, and was just trying to find a way out. He made it easy on me and while I still love him, I don't, in any way, want to be his girlfriend again. Too much drama. Too much uncertainty. And I just don't miss feeling like shit because he wasn't interested enough to make me a regular part of his life.
I've found someone else. Someone who, by all accounts, is less available than my ex ever was, but only in the physical sense, seeing as how he lives 4000 miles from me. On one hand, I know how silly it is for me to be involved in whatever sort of pseudo-relationship this is, and on the other, I haven't ever met anybody who understands me, and who I understand in quite this way. We make a lot of sense together, and even though there are aspects of our personalities that are inherently different, underneath it all, we are the same, and he just feels so damn good to me.
The week he spent here for our first meeting wasn't nearly long enough. Even after the first night, we were dreading his having to go home. And this was after only having been in each other's presence for a couple hours. I guess the closeness you can develop with someone after talking to them 5 hours a night for a year is really something. I didn't think I'd ever do the internet relationship thing, or the long-distance thing, or the falling in love with someone impossible thing (oh wait-that's a lie...isn't that always the way it goes?), yet here I am, completely retarded for a guy who's completely retarded for me who lives in god forsaken Puerto Rico. It's a funny feeling when you just know something is meant to be. All the corniness and all the disapproving looks people give you don't matter. You know that people think they know that you're delusional, and you know you're not. /shrug He's mine. I'm his. We don't know why. We just are. And I'm finally happy.
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